Will you be mine?

Today my mother asked me why people have boyfriends.

I thought it was a really dumb question at first but when I opened my mouth I didn't know what to say; didn't know how to qualify what I was going to say. And in all honesty, I've come to the conclusion that the opinion, or statement, I was going to make then must have been completely inconsequential because I haven't the vaguest recollection of it now.

But why DO people want to have boyfriends? In what ways is it different from having a really close friend?

Maybe my perceptions and take on the issue of friendship vastly differ from your definition but as far as I can see, there seems to be no added benefit in possessing a label over another human being. Does the divergence in friendship and 'relationship' lie in the amount of affection received? Not really. A friend can provide as much, or perhaps even more, affection than a boyfriend. And how does one quantify affection anyway? Time spent together? A friend can spend a lot more time than a boyfriend than especially during schooling years.

Is it then quantified by the amount of time spent thinking about each other? No, I don't think so. I think about a select few friends every day for long periods of time. And for people who have deep, meaningful friendships this is probably the case too.

Is it then defined by the level of enjoyment and satisfaction felt in each other's company? No  that may not necessarily be the case. A good long afternoon with a friend can leave you feeling delightfully satisfied. Everyone's felt that at least once. Is it the time spent missing each other when they're not around? Not true. Friends miss each other too. And once again how do you quantify missing? Is it expectations then? Do boyfriends and friends have different expectations placed on them? No, for special, intense friendships that's not the case. I can tell you that I expect a lot from by friends - but I'm proud to say that I give a lot to them too. And that level of giving is not going to change regardless of the status.

We're just going around in circles aren't we? So what IS IT then that makes a boyfriend so much more desirable than a mere friend?

Is it physical closeness? Is it the right to touch, kiss, fondle, grope, experiment that defines a boyfriend from a friend? Is it this sheer animalistic nature of ours to explore another's body for feral satisfaction that leads us to forge relationships? But human beings don't need that sort of affection all the time. You don't see couples attached at the mouth everytime they're together. Friends make do fine with hugs, holding of hands, and the occasional kiss. Some people need them more than others but otherwise there's nothing that people require desperately

.One might say that it is romantic love that makes a difference. But what IS romantic love? How can you tell the difference between that and platonic/friendly love? How do you know that what you feel for a friend isn't romantic love but platonic love? And how do you know that what you feel for that boy is romantic and not friendly? And if it can't be defined then what is the difference between a boyfriend and a friend? If it's only the physical relationship then what is the difference between a boyfriend and a friend with benefits?

It may seem very obvious when written down but think about it for a while and you'll find that qualifying the conclusions you jump to are much are harder than you imagine.

I like holding hands and being close to people. I like kisses and hugs and being told that I'm loved and that I'm special to someone. I revel in the knowledge that this person is mine mine all mine; that she's my closest friend in the world and that no one can take her away from me. But my friends don't like too much of this type of affection - so why would a person who'll be my boyfriend be any different? And if that's going to be the case, then why have a boyfriend at all?

Everytime I hold hands with Nat in school, she tells me that I need a boyfriend.

My desire for affection doesn't stem from the lack of a boyfriend..

It stems from the lack of a proper friend.