My grandmother's my desktop picture for my Mac :) She's so cute.
I find it really hard to be around elderly people. I just don't know what to say or how to act (strange coming from me eh.) I know they're not all that different from me and they can be quite fun and interesting after a while but it's always the initial conversation that makes me uncomfortable. It sounds fake, contrived, it bores them and makes me feel terrible because I'm a failure.
I have problems talking to MY OWN grandmother. It really depresses me because I have so many things I want to ask her and talk to her about. She's lived through World War II, seen Nikita Krushchev when he came to India, come on she was a FREEDOM FIGHTER! The first woman in her family to get a PhD (IN THOSE TIMES!), she was a teacher, got married at 22 (REALLY LATE!), had kids well into her 40s.. She's seen so much, done so much, so accomplished, so smart, so resilient especially when her husband died and she had 5 kids to support. Such strength, such intelligence, such power - I really admire her. But I get so tongue tied whenever I meet her or see her or write her letters.
Maybe it's because she's a little distant physically. She doesn't like hugs or kisses or cuddling like I do and somehow I relate that physical connection to emotional connection. I know it's not necessarily true but she just doesn't feel comfortable sitting and talking for long periods of time which makes it hard for me.
I want to get to know her better. She's so old, so far away, has diabetes, she's seen her kids grow up and become successful, get married, have kids, she's spent time with all her grandkids (except maybe me and my sister - not that much as the rest), she's even seen one grandkid have a kid. What's left for her to live for? She's tired and everyone knows that one day she'll close her eyes and not open them again.
And that'll be the end.
Aside from the emotional part of being my grandmother she's a wealth of knowledge. And although I'm not close to her I will most definitely be very upset when she moves on.
I just don't know how to talk to her before it's too late.
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I may be in trouble again. And this time with MF :( As I was telling her on the phone today, I don't know whether they're keeping tabs or an eye on us. It sounds terribly paranoid but all evidence seems to point to that. I don't know why they're making such a big deal of defaulting on events this year. It was never a big deal to previous cs.
Well let's grit our teeth and take whatever comes our way.
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Finished watching ANTM cycle 13. I really really enjoyed watching this cycle. And for the first time ever BOTH the girls I liked got into the final two! I would've been happy whoever won but I've been rooting for Nicole right from the start. She's so odd and quirky, it's nice to see a successful oddball.
On another note, I really really admire Tyra. She is a successful, powerful, confident woman. I enjoy watching someone who is so sure of herself.
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Janey came back from camp today. HI I MISSED YOU!
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Dear VR, we need to spend time together. Can you be free when I'm free THANKS!
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Tomorrow's there's MUN training in the morning.
Ugh I find the UN really frustrating. It is so similar to the League of Nations (and that was such a failure) that I'm surprised the UN hasn't collapsed yet. In the end, no one is looking for 'World Peace'. Everyone's out there to protect their own interests at the expense of others that's all.
It's like a bigger version of school.
You have the big bad bully who acts all mean and big and sets crazy rules but inside is secretly terrified of being overthrown and defaults on the very rules they set. You should know who this is.. of course, the US!
Then you have the 'elite' people who believe they're so much better than the rest of the world. They stick with the bully when it's convenient and hang out when they need to but backstab each other at every possible opportunity. Yeap, it's all the European countries!
Then you have the oddball bully who has childhood problems and major self esteem issues. Yes you got it right! Russia.
Then you have the underdogs, India and China who struggle with being overweight and are desperately making themselves 'cooler', slimmer and more 'hip' to get noticed. China's doing a pretty good job losing weight with the One Child Policy but it's almost a anorexic sort of weight loss with some parts of China being underpopulated and other parts being overpopulated. And also the distribution of gender is all mucked up. This underdog's risen too fast, too soon though. The popularity's gone to her head and sometime in the next 30 years or so the anorexia's just going to break her down.
India on the other hand, is taking her time and it'll pay off.
Both side with different bullies.
And the reason the bullies are letting them do so is because they realise that they're not going to be the big bad boys on the playground anymore. India and China are going to take over.
Oh I forgot the Hispanic world! They're the true underdogs. Spurred on by the success of the previous two underdogs, they're working hard too.
Then of course how could I forget the sucker-uppers! The little wannabes who hang on to the current bullies of the world in hopes of protection. All the Asian countries who try so so hard. Having first dissed the underdogs, they're now regretting their words and are trying hard to be diplomatic to everyone. There are going to be tremendous power shifts in the world in the years to come - just you wait and see. My predictions are going to be right.
Then to top it all off you have three more groups - the crazies (Aussies of course, who else), the druggies (guess who they are) and our favourites - the extremists!
Happy happy world we live in.
I sound like such a prat in this post -_- Should I take it down.
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