Morning lesson I didn't like the car, the second lesson I didn't like the instructor, last lesson I didn't like the sun. But it was a fairly productive day. I managed to get a fair few things out of the way. Hopefully tomorrow's progress will also be good. I really miss my first ever instructor!!! Whyyyyyy don't I get assigned to himmm.
Otherwise yesterday and today have just been days from hell. S has really been getting it and the deepest natures of are starting to show on a more regular basis. I just wish the decision had been made with a lot more conviction all those years ago.
I also wish that I had just gone against my gut feeling and taken it up. Right now there just isn't enough going around. It would have been easier if I had just known the truth right from the start instead of the uncomfortable reassurances. A piece of paper is just not the same thing.
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Thinking about it a lot and I am starting to get a little worried about myself. Why can't I seem to draw myself away from it? It's not..........right. I want to talk about it to e but how can I? has moved past the stage I am at.
I am so glad I see L (almost) every day now :) :) :)
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