Insidious, duplicitous.

Okay so I did a really bad thing today but it was a fulfilling (though monetarily draining) thing :)

My birthday is in exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes from this moment. I am feeling beyond sleepy. It's sleepiness at a whole new level - my eyes are shut while I type this.

Heard Lit marks from L today. Overall B whew. I feel bad that Whitby didn't fail my unseen because it was truly a pathetic attempt. So embarrassing. I don't see how I do well for Dio and not for Whitby when Paper 1 is so much more structured! So idiotic of me.

Was reading all my old saved messages in my phone and I realised that this year wasn't that bad at all. It started out quite fabulously and I have a zillion messages from J, Xy and Schmooze but mostly from the former and gah I miss the way things were.

I know people change and we have too, but so much? It's not right; the thing that held us together is still somewhere inside both of us - it just needs to be dug out and then this friendship will rekindle itself but it takes time, effort and most importantly, WANT. I don't know how to right this wrong and sometimes we're so focused on moving on that we don't even try. I.. I don't know. I just miss my best friends.

In a way there is reason to doubt the strength of the relationship because I am not a strong believer of saving sappy 'I love you' messages. The messages I save are funny things I want to remember, moments that I want to immortalise via technology. If a relationship is strong enough, what can be said once can always be said again but when I saved the messages  I obviously thought they were special moments that won't be repeated :(

I'm asking Schmoozey for a colouring book for my birthday and she asked me if I were 8! HAHA talking to her is so much fun. I'm feeling ridiculously sleepy now and I thought that it's age catching up on me finally but she says that it's a 'birthday curse'. So I have to make it through this night and prove my tenacity in times of adversity. If I stay up past 12, then this will be symbolic of how I'll be able to get through the rest of this year successfully!

Yeah I'm big on symbolism.

Been having very interesting conversations with R lately. I think she looks like Aishwarya in the movie! A little bit at some points. Omg I can't wait for the DVD to come out though this movie is best on screen.

Happy birthday Rivali, Yin Tian, Shuba and Erika! Did you know that 5th October is the date where there are the highest number of births in the US almost every year?