You up for another round?

WHY DO YOU MAKE YOURSELF UGLY. YOU'RE ACTUALLY SLIM SO WHY DRESS LIKE A BAG. WHY WEAR UNFLATTERING SHIRTS WHY WEAR CLUNKY BLACK GROSS SHOES WHY LOOK LIKE A CHEAP GOOD FOR NOTHING WHEN YOU AREN'T THAT BAD.

I don't know why I'm getting so unnecessarily het up over this.

No okay I know why. It's because one of the predominant reasons for me deciding to end this was because you looked so unpresentable so..GROSS to say the least and while that wasn't a deciding factor it was a starting point for me to start despising the rest of you. And now when you're being yourself and acting like a person of the family you were born into everyone thinks you're acting weird. It's so sad because your fake front and 'oh-I'm-so-cool-and-I'll-purposely-rebel-and-act-like-this-because-I-have-to-prove-others-wrong-and-make-sure-I-stand-out' shit just falls flat on it's face.

You can never deny your background or upbringing.

I hate to admit it, but you. Look. Good. AND ARGH I FEEL SO ANGRY AT YOU FOR BEING SUCH AN IDIOT.

You're not proving anything to anyone, you're just trying to prove it to YOURSELF. You THINK you're all that. You THINK you're cool. You THINK it's interesting to act the way you act, and do the things you do.

(does this sound Angel-ic?!)

Let me tell you that you're wrong.

You lost one friend, and I'm sure you'll lose more.

If the people who like you like you for the fake person you show them then that is really very disappointing and it's no wonder you always feel so unhappy and uneasy and lose interest after a while because after a point you just can't suppress the real you right.

Okay why should I care about you.

--

Yesterday's performance went really well! Man it sucks my voice is nasal but I looked really pretty hehzx. Yay. Goofed up a little but covered it up well. Q was so upset she couldn't come, it was sweet and I don't know things seem to be heading the wrong way now :/

I was so so so so so tired yesterday I was falling asleep all over the place gosh it was terrible. Went to get my blouses altered and on the bus home I almost fell asleep on two strangers! Well I definitely think I did fall asleep on one don't know about the other. How embarrassing.

Yeah that's about it for yesterday. School was okay, I was feeling very dissatisfied for some reason. Spent the entire day texting Angel. Tee hee.

Sometimes Style, things just don't work out the way you want them to and you've got to stop being so fickle and whimsical. You're like a bunny hopping from one thing to the other without any clear reason. MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

--

Woke up late today, washed my hair in a hurry, couldn't let it dry properly, was rushing around to get the stuff for my blazer and then left for the awards thingy. Went alright, heard some unsavoury things but whatever education greatly changes one's mindset  and if you're stupid there's nothing I can do about it.

Today was an exciting, very inspiring day for me in a way. It was scary definitely and just added a great deal more pressure to the already overloaded pressure cooker I have hooray but I can deal with it. (I hope)

Got a few emails to send bzzt.

Why is it everyone's a r product?!

Tired and sleepy and I haven't started studying and tomorrow is the pooja womg.

Today I fell in and out of love with four people.

On another note, WHY DO VOICES HAVE SUCH AN EFFECT ON ME.

There are three things I'm very disappointed about this year..

1. My English is really terrible!

2. I've put on so much weight and I don't know how or why. I swear I was even more inactive than this last year!!

3. XYZ

By the way if you have no idea what's going on in this post it's okay, this is the rare chance you get to explore my mind. Random thoughts are all that are inside. I MUST BECOME MORE ARTICULATE.

I, ___, swear on Saturday the 26th of September at 2033 hours never to utter a word of Singlish again. Henceforth, no one will ever hear me say anything that is not in perfect English and that is grammatically incorrect. If you do ever have the misfortune of hearing me utter a single syllable that sounds jarring in comparison to the elegance of the rest of my dialogue then please take the liberty to correct me. I grant you full permission to do anything to improve the deplorable condition of my English.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Sigh I'll just concentrate now and play during the holidays.